My Team Fortress story: Man Vs Nightmare!

    I play TF2... I play it way more than I should. This Halloween, they added a Man vs Man map at NIGHTMARE level. It's basically a long mob that you have to continually fight off again and again and again. I played many times and averaged about 10% of the level completed, max maybe 15%. Then, the root cause of my irritation.

    A normal group of guys and we all take the vital roles, should be good. Well, we coast through about 20% then spend the next 70% at goal, escaping failure by split seconds. Near the end, we're getting the upper hand, upgraded, full canteens and pushing them back. We're in the zone when the pyro, standing at the goal while defending what must be the last bot push, decides to say, let me air blast him. In the moment, it seemed right, they've been at the goal for a good minute, nearly ending our hour long effort...

  YOU HAVE FAILED, the announcer said! What happened? Nothing... In that split second of seemingly universal approval, we stop our barrage and watch as the pyro stands in front and ... does nothing. Air blast didn't work. Oh yea, air blast does have issues. Oh yea. Oh shit...

Awkward

I had a particularly interesting morning the other day...
I was one of them, you know, the person who stops a group of people so they can also get on the elevator. Once on the elevator, I heard something... It sounded.. SHIT! It's my iPhone (yes I own one but not by choice(work phone)) and it's playing some unsavory music from Pandora. Very uncomfortable as I struggle to take the phone out of my pocket and make a failed initial attempt to stop the music. Once I slow down and let the app load, I stop it. The elevator is full of awkwardness and i'm the source. Ding! The doors open and I'm first out. Wait... This doesn't look right, wrong floor. I jump back into the elevator only to gain temporary telepathy! The awkwardness I sense is overbearing.
Just another day at the office.

When it rains in Seattle.

It does not simply rain in Seattle, it is an event. Days perhaps weeks long with a break including a half day of partial sunshine. Besides the gray skies and lack of vitamin D, Seattle looses so much more. It's sanity.

People forget how to drive. The left lane is the new right lane as you have to pass the overly cautious drivers who acknowledge nothing other than themselves. New reports wear too much rain gear while on location somewhere with a puddle or 2 and lets not forget the lovely B-roll of rain drops.

Good-bye sun, we'll see you in a few months.

Words that drive me crazy.

'Content'

Why not just stay 'Stuff' or 'Things'. All have the same meaning, something. The attempt to 'high brow' the term annoys me. Reasons unknown...

I want to live in an awesome place.

I think I want to move to Hawaii. Big Island. Become one of them 'off the grid' fella. Minus the guns and insanity that usually goes along with people living alone in the middle of the woods.

I think that a few acres on the Hilo side should allow for a excellent garden. Solar panels, water catch, other stuff... I'd have to have internet of course...

Maybe I can become a scuba instructor or something fun like that.
Hmm time to plan \ scheme!

Picture from a Maui trip. Hauna area.

Yeah

I vote that we replace the common usage of the word 'balls' with nards. Humor is gained.

You are what you eat.

Duh...

This is nothing new yet so many people are shocked that they cant loose weight.

It's my genes some say or my favorite "I cant help it".

I like everyone else go to grocery stores and I see people with their frozen dinners, their sugar drinks, their cookies, chips, et cetera. Guess what, they're fat, worse is their young children are also fat AT 7 YEARS OLD! These people are killing their kids. I do put the blame on them, not "evil corporations" corporations are in existence to make money, they sell this junk because its what people want.

People think that drugs are bad - if they're abused or good if they're meant to help you. First of all, people want a pill to help their cholesterol then make their way to McDonald's for dinner... But just as powerful as pills is nutrition in general. Almost all of our ill's spawn from our horrid diets. We take pills for so many things that could have been prevented by having a healthy diet.

I went to the doctor recently, a naturopath - I do not see "regular doctors" because they usually try to treat symptoms and not fix the problem. I found out that i'm gluten intolerant and hypoglycemic. This was not too big of a deal as diet was filled with rice as my grain of choice... Although I do love a good beer... They will be missed. There are so many delicious food choices without including gluten that its not a big deal, just making sure that things like sauces do not have any in it. The hypoglycemia I assume is due to my diet growing up, I was not taught proper nutrition and ate candy and sugar junk my entire childhood. This is all on how ridiculous I think people who "cant help it" are. Not only do I not eat junk, i'm limited on my healthy options with my condition and still have PLENTY of options. I get annoyed when I want some dried fruit and 90% has added sugar!Fruit! Its already sweet! You dehydrate is and its even sweeter! But we need MORE sugar...

I'm so glad the health care bill passed, not I get to pay a part of my salary to take care of the people who refuse to take care of themselves. God bless our no fault society, the person eating chips and cookies just cant help it... Nature will not let you off that easy.

The 5 senses.

I have a phobia.

It's easy to identify.

Its...

People.

Nothing scares me as much as another Human.

Nothing offends me as much as another Human.

Nothing can be as brutal to my 5 senses...

There are things that are offensive that don't bother me. Low tide smell, its natural. If someone is ugly, there isn't anything they can do about it... But when someone literally smells like month old baby diapers? Thats a problem. A little BO? Meh, bad but there are excuses. Smelling like shit when you don't live in it (she was on the shuttle to work) is NOT acceptable. Even if you're missing that sense, the standard procedures of living should prevent month old baby diaper shit smell... Go forth and shower.

That is all.

Twitter

This is quite retarded...
Who are these people that feel the need to update their "status" consistently? Worse, who cares to read what someone is doing at that moment? I care that Billy is going to the library or Sally is about to buy some squash? Purely stupid... Just people wanting to be on top of "what's cool". If you care about what someone is doing, ask yourself why... If its because you want to know what they're up to then GIVE THEM A CALL and hangout!

"Well, what about following your favorite actor or musician" You're even more retarded, find a real hobby. You can also find them on something crazy called a website or even more crazy - in print or at the movies \ music store.

"what about news, The Iran election was huge for Twitter" CNN worked fine for me. I need a million kids putting bogus crap up?

The internet was a pretty neat thing a few years back, I think we'll recognize it as the golden years. Now that everyone one and their soccer moms are on the net, retarded mass pop culture has took control.

Life travels. Or is it life, travel?

The older I get the more I become numb to events in my life. I find myself thinking "wow this is big" followed quickly by "Look the DOW is down 10 points, hmm". Recently I got married in Maui, made good progress on my home remodel and have a baby coming in six months. How did I take the news of becoming a father? I was excited, happy and a little freaked but it lasted all of 30 minutes spread out over a day or so and now life is back to normal. yay... Here is another example of this "condition". I'm a fairly young man, ripe old age of 28. I go to Hawaii nearly every year for the past 5 years because its close and relatively cheap. Do I get excited about that? Not until i'm in the air, even then I'm not jazzed until i'm in my swim suit and about to jump in the water... Wait a second, they have a name for this... Depression? Maybe, oh well. Last think I need are some drugs.

Moving on, I just found out I get to travel to Amsterdam for work! This I am excited about! I've never really been out of county except for Canada and Mexico which dont really count in my book. I'll also be going to Germany for a few days so it'll be fun!

Alright, the coffee kick is waining so i'm out of things to talk about.
Caio

Book: Ishmael

You may have noticed a trend in my blogs and its negativity...
Things annoy me, that should be obvious but this "novel" makes me angry!

Look it up! Everywhere you'll read how it changed peoples lives and that its a must read. I have friends who read on average 1 book every 2 years and went out of their way to get Ishmael. I was EXCITED to read it! I take the train into work every day so I get through plenty of books so when I heard of this book I couldn't wait to read.

Right at the beginning I noticed a style of writing that wasn't... good. It read more like a documentary with an added character in an attempt to put you in their shoes. Unfortunately he is a useless character, doing nothing but advancing the horrible story along with one word answers or useless banter.

The fable is about a monkey and his "conscience". He becomes aware and starts to communicate to the point of being a wise philosopher (all this within the first chapter or two). He then seeks pupil to spread his knowledge. That pupil is the 'yes man dunce' I previously eluded to. The monkey (Ishmael - a Gorilla) tell all about the failures of humans starting at agriculture, attacking specialization and settling. His overall theme is that humans are harming the planet to an extent that we'll kill ourselves. Okay, I can buy that but he details on how and why made me laugh at first, then angry when I though that people really took this book to heart! The notion that early agricultural humans deviated the earth? That the creation of specialist destroyed the earth? It did lead to civilization I can see the link but he start with the "Mother Culture" idea. That somehow we're all helpless and succumb to this culture and all, yes ALL cultures are harmful to the earth. So far, all made me laugh a little. How can he say that with conviction? There are plenty of peoples and cultures that live in harmony with nature. There are just too many of us / them. Then its gets stupid.

This guy, the pupil, the yes dunce, he is a supposed atheist (or was talking in the point of view that god was out of the picture, I cant remember) but he, by the lead of the monkey, come to the idea that mankind is the end all of evolution... Yes, I don't know how else to say it. I chuckle a little when I write it. No second guessing... Fact. He even went into a story about a jellyfish saying he was the end all of evolution, the supreme being. I'm sorry, if you're not religious and GOD didn't wave his magic wand, we're PART of evolution. Evolution doesn't end, its a process an infinite verb. Also, to tear apart the jellyfish story, if there was some organism that evolved from humans, monkeys, dolphins, whatever and had special ability, greater technology, whatever, people would recognize the step in evolution...

So, we're suppose to realize that humans all think they are the end all be all of evolution... You with me so far? Next is that humans are trying to create paradise (excuse me if I have the order wrong, its been a good month since I read most of the book. I couldn't finish it it was so bad).
The monkey stated that humans are fundamentally flawed, were stupid, short sighted and greedy. Sure, some of us are... With my general dislike of people I'd say maybe even most but how does that sum up our inability to create paradise? Maybe its conflicting views of paradise? Maybe? All the religious wars, economic wars. Nah, couldn't be that there are other views of what paradise is. Its because were stupid and greedy. Also, who said were looking for paradise? Obviously the monkey is talking about removing ourselves from nature, using and abusing nature. Personally my paradise IS nature. Its a lot of peoples paradise. How stupid is this monkey?

The next two items is what made me quit reading this book and when I became angry.
The monkey talks about how people have no idea that its nature is what sustains us. He says this like its the punch line to his whole theory! Its the gotcha! Really? Really?I didn't know that I need food to survive? whats food? Plants and animals... Air to breath? Air from plants? Maybe? I though my can of Spaghetti o's just appeared when I say "Computer, spaghetti o's" Freakin ridiculous. Then my favorite part... Humans live in deviance, conflict to the laws of nature. Oh yea? And animals do not, and that's what keeps them alive, FOREVER. I was like " You have got to be kidding" First, what do you mean by conflict? Birds flying? Is that conflict? I was unaware that we could break laws of nature... Use them, understand them to achieve something sure... But break or be in conflict? Huh? Also the notion that the species will continue forever if they live in harmony with the laws on nature... Okay, so forget the hungry animals, forget evolution creating something bigger and better... What did the Dinosaurs do? I suppose during the Ice age or any of the warming \ cooling of the planet did nothing to species that lived in harmony with the laws of nature. WTF? Stupid monkey.

It was okay in my mind. Here is an author who is writing out his arse. People can be stupid, I see them everyday. But how, HOW can people say "This will change your life". I still don't know if I'm angry or sad about that...

Just stupid

I hope you have read "Pharmaceutical naming" a previous blog.
I was watching The Price is Right for the first time with new Host Drew Cary... Not impressed. He is great and enjoy watching him on Who's line is it anyways and the Drew Cary show but wow, he stinks as a game show host. Anyways, most commercials during that show are for old people, including drugs. A new one, or at least one I have not seen before... Ready for it? Its naming is pure genius! No one could come up with a better name!

Enablex...

I rest my case.

Go with the flow. Flowmax!

Drugs are again the focus of a rant. This time its their commercials!
Every one has the EXACT same sequence! A person (or couple if a STD drug) looks glum and the sky is grey. Talking about the things they miss... Well, in comes (name of action associated with drug followed by XR, MAX, FS et cetera) and Que music! Usually a guitar or something uplifting. And usually bike riding on a sunny day, holding hands on the beach (if STD drug) chatting with friends... Then don't forget the side affect clause at the end which sometimes includes death or the original symptoms getting worse... Ah good times.

RESPECT your morons

Yes, other people just don't understand... Its a cultural difference. People just need to learn about them... Or, they are just bloody insane.

KHARTOUM, Sudan (AP) - Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives,
rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British
teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy
bear "Muhammad."...

Gibbons was arrested Sunday after another staff
member at the school complained that she had allowed her 7-year-old students to
name a teddy bear Muhammad. Giving the name of the Muslim prophet to an animal
or a toy could be considered insulting.

Sad thing is, good people that faith not only shake their heads in disbelief, but will now have to deal with the association. Just like Christians with the helicopter flying perma grin salesmen preachers on TV. The only difference? Most religions try to persuade other by words and action... Not join or die. Ah the middle ages.

Religion...

Pharmaceutical naming

I know most of my rants are about TV or advertising, there is a reason for that. Its just that bad! My next case is pharmaceutical naming... Why do they feel the need to use a word that slightly means what the medicine does? And misspell it too? They they have to act Hi-Tec and put some random letters after it. Especially the ones that mean "Good" somehow. Like Effexor XR... Hmm Effect... But they have to misspell is and make it look cool so its Effexor. It effects you as its an antidepressant. Look! XR thats cool and Hi-tec! I like Hi-tec! I better get some! Whats next... Abilify... Okay Ability? Yes, its a drug that gives you abilities? I dont know, it claims to help schizophrenic brains... I think they would boost their sales if they put XT or SX after the name. Let me try this drug naming game... Concentril LR and ADHD drug. Or Hapilate A an antidepressant.

Next time I have a headache I'll buy Migracine not Aspirin because who know what aspirin does? It doesn't tell you in the name!

Political Signs

Ah, my favorite time of year. When paid actors act like family men and roll up their sleeves to tell you why a family man like himself should vote for something. Or when a guy with a stern face and serious background music tells you his opponents ads are false without a single explanation why. One of the worst offenders, the common sign. What does this marvel do? It sits there with a name on it... So I guess that the intelligent people of the world will look at these signs and what? Base their vote on who has the most? Or maybe which has the best looking sign? Maybe its the one with the neatest name and has a D or R next to their name. Personally I like to know a little more about the people who control what I can or cant do and how much I have to pay for programs. But why bother? My vote will just be canceled by someone who likes a sign and sees a R or D next to a name.

Concern Face

News... One of a very few useful programs on TV, part of many Americans morning or Evening rituals is also a target of my rants.

Concern Face. Actually it can be any face, happy, sad, et cetera but how does that link with informational programming like news? What? You may be saying that now. "Where is he going with this?" Well, let me enlighten you so that news will be as annoying to you as it is for me.

Take notice the next time you're watching you will see the anchor scrunch their face if the following message they are about to deliver is unnerving and you will need to pay attention to their warning or you may just take the story the wrong way. Yes, if my local news anchor didn't furrow their brows I might have though that the slaying of two elderly people was a delightful story! Thank you news anchors, without your guiding expressions I would be lost.

I wonder if those blank papers they shuffle around to appear smart might actually have a crudely drawn face to help them remember how to manipulate their own face for the next story. Hmmm

Care Pro Tec

I guess I'm not like most people... Evidently the ploys of TV advertising are getting lazy or I'm a super advanced human being. Sadly I think its the first one. Lazy, to the point of insulting! In the hour or so a day which I watch TV I get the usual bombardment of slogans and sales pitches and that bring me to my first rant...

Nivea. Their recent commercial is a prime example of what has become of advertisements. Evidently this new and improved product from Nivea has "Care Pro Tec" which the commercial made sound like an equivalent to finding a cure for cancer. Do they explain anything? Maybe what Care Pro Tec is or how it can help me? No, they just decided to throw some buzz words together and believe that people will be impressed with whatever Care Pro Tec is. Their website is just as bad. Look at how they bold type the new Buzz words!

-Formulated with CARE PRO TEC the professional care technology that immediately activates and supports the natural function of men’s skin.

Okay... So its a formula? A technology? Whatever it is it activates immediately. Look they threw in Support and Natural :-O

I think the worst part about it is the fact that they (yes the infamous THEY) sat in a room and came up with these words. What was the meeting like? "Okay guys, here is a list of words that are popular. Lets see what we can come up with"

"Yeah, make sure Pro is in there, people like things that are pro" a guy might have said...

"Tec too, make it sound advanced and space aged" another blurts and some agreeing "Yeah!" from around the room

So, do NOT forget your Active Technology Formula that has Care, is Professional, and is... well Tec because skin cream is just skin cream without it!